Scene Opens
T.V. commercial set

*Camera crews are busy while technicians fumble with the lighting*

*UWA Hardcore Champion Smokin' Joe Seward is seen standing against a blue backdrop with clouds. Sporting his famous Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts, Joe looks puzzled about the commercial he is about to record*

Director - Joe, you have to have feeling for this product. I don't see any feeling. We have thirty seconds to give the viewers a small taste of our product. In that thirty seconds, we have to create a feeling and a need inside of our viewers.

Joe - Yeah....but, I'm afraid this here product will make ol' Joe look a....how should I say it now.....aaaa.....old and incompetent.

Director - Joe your perfect! You're the UWA Hardcore Champ. You're 41 and get throw around a lot. There are plenty of reasons why it wouldn't work.

Joe - But it does.

Director - Just pretend like it doesn't.

Joe - I'm in the wrastlin' business buddy, so I ain't any good at bein' fake!

Director - Just try Joe.....please baby.....I need ya.

*Just then Mark Drivlane yells out from around the corner*

*His voice is heard but the UWA CEO is not seen*

Mark - Come on already! I got a twelve-thirty!

Director - Okay! We are rolling! Just focus Joe.

*Joe shakes his head*

Director - And.three, two, one.....

*The director gives the signal Joe*

*Joe gives a big smile*

Joe - Hello gentlemen! Let's face it, we are not getting any younger. Our bodies are not what they used to be. The things we found simple, such as yard work, moving furniture, or playing basketball are suddenly more than we feel we can handle. It affects our self-esteem and affects our intimate times. There is help for those of us who struggle. Restore your intimate passion with Getawood. One pill in the morning. That's right! One pill of Getawood in the morning and your going hard the rest of the day.

*Cut to Mark Drivlane*

*Standing at a desk in an office*

Mark - I like to play golf and I like to visit a lot of ladies in my address book. But all of my high profile work causes problems for my golf game. And that takes a toll on my intimate time as well. Then I decided to ask my doctor about Getawood. One pill in the morning is all I needed to keep myself solid all day long. Just because we are aging, doesnt mean we have to limp our way through life.

*Cut back to Joe at the cloud backdrop*

Joe - So call your doctor and ask if a free sample of Getawood is right for you. And keep your aging body rock-hard, so you can go heavy-duty all day long.

Director - And cut! Beautiful!

Joe - Sweet Merciful Lord! It be so hard now here, talkin' in that so called correct dialect. How in the heck does ya do it all the time now?

Director - I don't know! But I do know, the entire country is going to be popping wood in the morning by the end of the week.

*Scene Fades*